The man who felt a whole lot of pain and had anger issues

Lately I’ve had some time on my own and often found myself chasing down the rabbit hole of YouTube (uninspired I know, but quite interesting at times I swear!). I had come across the trailer of “Kabir Singh” some months ago and the movie had released recently in India and across the world. Recently reviews of the movie would keep popping up in my YouTube home screen. I wasn’t particularly thrilled by the trailer, seemed like any other Bollywood love story, very mainstream and very masala. Too much masala over the years had burnt my taste buds so I preferred plain vanilla movies portraying a slice of life, for instance, the likes of “Masaan”, “Newton”, even quirky comedies and not quite vanilla flicks like “Mard ko dard nahi hota” really satisfied me. I would have anyway given “Kabir Singh” a pass but I was interested in what other film critics and reviewers had to say about it. The reviews were mixed but some points made by the more discerning critic seemed a tad problematic. Other people who loved the film said much ado about nothing, it’s not about toxic masculinity but it’s a character study. My interest was piqued, but I wasn’t ready to shell out money to watch it on the silver screen. So I opted to watch the original one in Telegu, “Arjun Reddy” (still available on Amazon Prime!). I decided to spend two hours and some minutes of my life watching a film I wasn’t particularly invested in, reading subtitles and questioning my very existence? What the heck am I doing with my life?

What I was left with after two hours and some minutes was whiplash from memories of my college days, not very pleasant ones and a bad taste in my mouth. What was the point of this? What did the director want to say with this script and this movie? I am not sure. I mean, sure not all movies need to have social message, some films are massy and they are just entertaining. But how is this entertaining? Okay maybe to some people and sure it’s a character study, not all heroes are well heroic, some are flawed, maybe this character wasn’t a hero at all, but he was the protagonist and it was his perspective. I mean the female lead didn’t have much to say anyway, not to him, not to her controlling father and when she did speak it was never more than a whisper. A person having no issues with picking fights over football matches and broken glasses faces little to no punishment for his atrocious behaviour. The only character I rather liked in the whole drama the grandma dies! The scenes played for comedy were just plain creepy and strange, running after a maid like a man possessed when she broke his glass was supposed to be funny, pulling a knife on a one-night stand to force get to take off her clothes was also supposed to be funny and of course the most bizarre “funny” scene, making a “fat chick” sit beside a “pretty chick” because “fat chicks are like teddy bears, warm and loyal” and a “pretty girl” should always have a “fat” (read ugly) friend. This really happened in the movie. I was just flabbergasted, what am I supposed to make of it? Let’s talk about his redeeming qualities; his is super smart and almost a genius, from a high society, privileged family. All these factors help him to come almost unscathed from his extremely self destructive and abusive behaviour. He is so unprofessional that he shows up in surgery drunk, then when the hospital sues him for malpractice and misconduct, he gets away because of his affluent family, pays fines whatever (but not enough, his ass should have been in jail full-stop!). Sure his grandma dies (I was sad for her more than he was) maybe he suffered through her death and losing his love interest. I don’t know, what are we celebrating here? If this is masculinity I prefer Newton’s (not the physicist but the protagonist in the movie with the same name) masculinity to this (he stood up for his principles, fair elections, went to insane lengths for it). I would also like to mention how the ragging showed in the film brought back very bad memories. I had been an engineering student, as a fresher I felt those smarts and insults, forced to address the seniors as “Ma’am” “Sir” for no good reason, how rudely they would call us like we were dogs and of course first year girls were treated like fresh meat by the senior boys. I hated it! This film showed all of it, there was even a scene when Arjun says “this girl is mine, but the rest is yours” or something to the like to his friends, marking his territory and graciously sharing the rest of the fresh meat aka first year girls with his buddies. I thought we were past this, I thought I left this behind in 2006. Maybe I live in a bubble, I felt our society had changed over time but we are still making and watching such stories. The girl, Arjun’s love interest (I don't think anyone noticed so far I have never mentioned her name, is that important?) speaks in full sentences only after they made love, her father pushes her to marry some other guy of the same caste, he slaps her and she also slaps him not at the same moment though, she is pregnant but of course is “pure”, she left the marriage in 3 days  “My husband didn’t touch me even with his little finger, the baby is yours” she says to him towards the end of the film, but don’t forget dear friends she also has an MBBS degree and is about the same age as our hero…I was thinking at this point, what the hell am I watching? I will admit I had to forward few scenes to move it to the end (it was too bloody long!) but yes I have watched this to the bitter end.

I was having a conversation about this movie with someone, he said would any one watch this film if it was a female character who had anger issues and was abusive, I could only say it’s not about females or males, it is a flawed character who is angry and abusive. But then I thought "Arjun" or "Kabir"  does get away with it, with everything he did (and the poor grandma does die) and he also gets the girl at the end. Did he change over the course of the film, was there a character arc, barely more like a flat arc! Does he mellow down, maybe, but the film does not dwell on that, even when he apologizes to his patients for being a dick to them it is in the background of a song (in the same scene he cries over a plate of biryani, that was pretty hilarious to me!). Jokes apart did this person have a point, would our society let a female get away with such atrocious behaviour with a mere slap on the knuckles and off you go to a better life (without the grandma, that was brutal man!). In closing I would like to say sure character studies are fun and not all heroes are perfect, people are flawed but what is this story about really? We need to ask our selves that, are we not disturbed by the blatant disregard of human decency towards “fat chicks”, “pretty chicks”, awesome grandmas, families, friends (he treats his father and brother like shit), professional ethics and of course consent. I think this was the disturbing part, the one-night stand said no he pulled a knife, the female lead is never asked “do you want to cut classes and study with me” and so on. She is never asked and she always complies, I am disturbed by that, are you?