The Day of Love

"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." - Author Unknown.

       It seems to me that this day has been done to death, from Archie's, in the good old days to online shopping sites, in present times, people go looking for a perfect token of love...but the question remains is there really a perfect way of showing someone you love them in one day? When I see social sites flooded with advertisements and personal declarations on this day, I feel a little nauseated...selfies with big fluffy teddies (a gift of course), or some other trite stuff...I don't know, it feels somewhat silly or am I just a tad bit jealous, since we (my partner and I) decided not to exchange gifts this year....well, I have realized its difficult to plan surprises when you live with the person, or maybe we are just too lazy to get into the whole act of planning a surprise! And there's another part of the planning that we didn't do, how should one celebrate this day, go for a quiet dinner at home or some where fancy....so when a friend of mine asked me what are we doing today, I didn't really have an answer, the funny part is that she didn't have any clue as well about her plans with her husband!!! This takes me way back when I was in the eighth grade, and this day was as big as it was years ago in 1998...I didn't have a special someone in my life at that time, and there were some girls who like these girls who strut their gifts in social sites, would parade their cards which they had received from some admirer or the other( a big thing then!) in front of me...instead of feeling sad, I had an idea, I went to the gift shop after school that day (I think it was called “Jingles”) and got me a card...I figured it made sense, since I loved myself the most and I engraved the same emotion in the card as well.....I am not sure whether this act of mine borders on self obsession or pity or maybe something better, like self-sufficiency! But I do feel it is special to get an anonymous card, its like an unexpected phone call or a smile from a crush who otherwise wouldn't give you the time of the day....Its quite like this feeling described in a scene from the movie “Chung-king Express”, a guy when dumped by his girlfriend of five years, jogs to sweat out all the water from his body so that there isn't any left for him to cry...so on his birthday, he decides to leave his pager behind since he expects no phone calls, but he gets a call from a woman who wished him happy birthday, (I won't get into details since that tends to spoils the twists in a movie!)...and he thinks to himself, that if a memory can be canned ( a memory as special as this), it shouldn't come with an expiry date and if it does it should be 10,000 years....I wonder if we get such moments anymore...or maybe I have outgrown such silly romantic stuff....although even when I am writing this post I was wondering if it's too late to get a little something for my husband...

“Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who's in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It's like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven't seen in a long time.” 
― Haruki Murakami

The "F" word

There are certain words (not necessarily expletives) that people are wary of getting associated with....maybe, the implications, often the stigma attached to such words scare them off....what does it mean to be an atheist, or a leftist, and what not (there are so many such words with ambiguous meanings, like bureaucrats or socialists...ambiguous because people interpret them differently, if not always positively!). For one, I feel if one feels obliged to be called an atheist or a leftist (and whatever else), they should be devoted enough to support the cause and not squirm when faced with negative social rebuttal. I can understand if one doesn't feel the urge to put oneself out there too much, expose themselves or be categorized....but somehow, I feel there are some issues that cannot be ignored.

Now, coming to the word I am somewhat partial to, what does it mean to be a “Feminist”? I am reluctant to admit that a thought from my sister was quite correct, that every one of us is a sexist, in the sense we are biased towards the interest of our sex...but strangely, the word “sexist” has been used increasingly to refer mostly to the male sex....is it because they seem to support each other more than we females do? Or maybe our bias-ness towards our own sex have been depleted slowly and steadily through years of repression brought about by a patriarchal society?  

I have often wondered how come the things that infuriate me, seem to have not much of an effect on some of my female friends....from changing name after marriage, to moving to his parent's place, or quitting a job to raise a family or maybe just to stay with him....why should such things irritate me, I mean caring for one's family or extended kin, can't be that bad..it's just that I have across very rare cases where  a man does these things for a woman, yet a woman is somehow expected to do these things and more...I have nothing but the greatest admiration for home makers, and I know its a hell of a job (and I am very clumsy at any house hold jobs), yet why do more women fall into these categories than men? A guy friend of mine had said some time back, in jest, maybe, that men are more efficient than women, and he went on to argue with questions like how many noble laureates can I name who are women and how many women are more successful than men in any field? I wondered then whom should I direct my anger at, men who say and even believe such things or women who don't seem to care any less if people think them to be inefficient,  incompetent....I mean sometimes we are even referred to as the "fairer", "weaker" sex!!! What does it mean?I don't even know if my anger can be justified into any form of feminism, I just feel alienated at times even from my own sex....maybe that is the worst kind of discrimination, when we women don't stand up for each other.... 

“The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees....”

Words are free it seems, but thoughts are not (a penny for your thought?). Maybe making a list would help to sort out the necessities from luxuries...I have been burdened with the thought of finances lately (even though I stay at home with my folks, so no need to pay rent, most of what I earn I hoard selfishly or spend thoughtlessly!!)....The reason for concern in recent times, can be attributed to my impending nuptials, which would involve paying rent and taking care of the day to day expenses, and what not!!! Therefore my lovingly hoarded hard earned savings would take some serious dent , which doesn't make me too happy...So, lets get back to the list...

first of all,

Love (but isn't that the reason for depletion of resources as well?)

Good times with friends( that too involves a lot of material needs but can be managed, like those good old times in college or in the hostel)

I wanted to include water and air, but water isn't free anymore, and air conditioning isn't free as well..so what else, gosh! Have I run out of things that are free already? Was thinking of listening to music but that requires a nice player, dear me! The end of the list so soon....

Hmm, in a world like the one we live in, money may not buy happiness but can make you happy nevertheless...is that bad? Why should one care for such high and mighty self righteous crap? If a person is driven by ambition and greed, what's the problem with that? The need for more is such a rush at times, more clothes, more jewelry, more of everything...When is enough, really enough? Never, actually, its like a box of chocolates, the more you have the more you want...I am totally a slave to greed and I lust for all things shiny and bright. As long as I make it, meet most if not all of my needs, why should I care, why should anyone care? One can be blissfully selfish and unaware of the rest of the world....but that doesn't work, does it? Basically that has been the major issue, we care, no matter what...money is good if I have someone to share it with....We are not happy with the cake and the bakery, we need to have it, with some one you see....

“Get a good job with more pay and your O.K.

Money it's a gas

Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

New car, caviar, four star daydream,

Think I'll buy me a football team

Money get back....

I'm all right Jack keep your hands off my stack.

Money it's a hit

Don't give me that do goody good bullshit

I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set

And I think I need a Lear jet”

-Pink Floyd